Healing Sounds Comforting, But Can Be A Painful Process


Peaks & Valleys by Sheryl Brown

“As an Artist, Coach and Marriage & Family Therapist, Sheryl practices art in more ways than one.”

My guest blogger this month is Sheryl Brown, who I met in 2008 when she painted (top image on right) Peaks and Valleys after reading about the loss of my loved one’s. On Sheryl’s blog she states that although I had lost a number of close family members, I explain how I chose to be happy and not remain stuck in grief, and the pain of loss. Here is an excerpt from that post…

“Interestingly enough, when I started out this painting, I enthusiastically loaded up the canvas with rather too much paint (some of which I transferred to another canvas – to be posted later). I had in mind some colors from looking at photos of a joyful occasion. In the process of working on this painting, however, the phrase – “oh, the jagged pain” – (or something close to that) went through my mind. This painting then became about my perception of Debra’s experience.

Our lives here on earth really are characterized by both jubilant and sorrowful times – and everything in between. And sometimes, it really ain’t pretty. I had the feeling that I muddied up the warm colors as I was mixing them, and pondered whether to “clean” them up some by adding another layer. In the end, I decided to leave it as it is. Life isn’t perfect, but we still love it.”


Healing Sounds Comforting, But Can Be A Painful Process – Post by Sheryl Brown

When I hear the word, ‘healing,’ I like to think of gentleness, comfort and rest. We definitely do need those things in order to heal.

But the truth is that healing also has its painful and sometimes grueling side.

Just think of a person recovering from a burn. There is excruciating pain, as the dead layers of skin need to be sloughed off, allowing the new skin to regenerate. Antiseptics need to be applied that almost always sting.

It’s a great metaphor for healing in a relationship. There is very often a painful process of stripping away unhealthy ways of relating that have caused a kind of death in parts of your relationship.

The only way to get through it is to go through it. If you want to have a healthy relationship with your significant other, spouse or other family member, as well as in your friendships and work relationships, you have to get rid of damaging ways of communicating.

Let me know some of the ways you have been successful in stripping away dysfunctional styles of communicating. I always love having the discussion.

Connect with Sheryl Brown at: http://www.sunraycounseling.com/blog/

Sheryl Brown Art: Not only will you find art, but an array of goodies!  http://www.sherylbrownart.com/

Sunray Books: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol. 3, edited by David Riklan – Be sure to look for Sheryl’s contribution on Satisfying Couple Relationships in chapter 74!