Let me explain…
My interpretation of the “emotional rug pull” and the ripple of after affects. How do you feel when you have been lied to or deceived? These half truths can come from parents, friends, relatives, teachers, religious organizations, institutions, or leaders you hold sacred. Even if these harmless deceptions are only out of love, they create ripples, like throwing a stone in water.
Many of these deceptions are done not to harm, but are meant to hold up traditions, generation after generation. For example lets take Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. You are told all about Santa Clause when very young, and how he comes down the chimney at night, and the best toys go to children who have been “extra good” all year. St. Nick also takes a cookie and has some milk before heading back up the chimney. This is harmless generational fibbing, right? There are even letters to Santa sent to the North Pole, putting more pressure on parents to buy specific toys, all to be opened after a sleepless night of excitement and anticipation.
You get a bit older and head off to school…
You find out there is no Santa and it’s all made up. The rug has been pulled out from under you. What!! In my mind it was created to promote shopping/commercialism at specific times of the year – depending on the holiday. Don’t get me started on Valentine’s Day! How many kids can’t figure out that bunny’s don’t poop colored eggs? Do you see how easy it is to promote certain ways of thinking in people from a very young age? In the USA we have Halloween, followed by Thanksgiving a month before Christmas. I am not trying to ruin your holidays – just making a few valid points for consideration.
The expense of getting to and from distant family, expectations, outcomes, etc, can be joyful to some and challenging for others. FYI – I am using my life and holiday experience as an example. Whatever holidays you observe may be entirely different. A rug pull is a rug pull! Once one holiday ends, another is hot on it’s trail. I find it telling that on each holiday, or special day, people are expected to buy gifts. Commercialism is hotly promoted all year. The discounts and sales begin to draw us in.
I lived through all of this growing up, and in most cases with joy and anticipation. Like many of you, it’s what I knew. These childhood holidays never did me any harm personally, but I’m trying to make a point. It’s not harmless in the long run, once you can see the forest for the trees. Many people have felt emotional upheaval throughout their lives because they have been lied to by those they love and trusted. There are people who believe you need to be lied to – for your own good. This opens up a whole other can of worms. No matter the trauma, fear, confusion, division, or experiences we may be living at any point in life, the positives can outweigh the negatives – if we choose it to be so. I took a step back and looked at what I believe to be true.
Getting the rug pulled out from under you
It’s like the old trick seen in movies – reel life, not real life. Imagine a perfectly set table. A magically skilled person quickly yanks the table cloth off, and voila, the dishes remain right where they were. Wow, that’s a trick you never saw coming. It takes a lot of practice. If I tried that trick, there would be a loud crash and shattered dishes for sure! To my point, this is similar to the rug pull we did not see coming. The illusion is so real it fogs the brain. Learning to navigate life, especially in our crazy world can be overwhelming. My wise friend Kathy recommended I write an article that could assist people who are struggling to navigate some of the chaos in their inner and outer lives right now.
To be clear, the emotional rug pull is different for each of us
“People would pull the rug out from under me. So I learned how to dance on a moving carpet.” – Wayne W. Dyer
The world is split, people separated in ways that are destroying family’s, friendships, work relationships, and on it goes. I’m seriously sad to witness this. Some of us, who are on opposite sides of the fence carry on quite well together, out of respect and love – because that’s what good/kind people do.
Navigation time – Keeping the Rug Intact!
- Ground Yourself in the Present Moment
Fear often stems from uncertainty about the future. Practice mindfulness techniques, like focusing on their breath for 1-2 minutes. Notice five sensory details (sights, sounds, textures) in your surroundings. This interrupts spiraling thoughts and anchors them in the now. - Curate Your Information Diet
Confusion thrives in information overload. Limit exposure to sensational news or divisive social media. Try this- pick 1-2 trusted sources and check them only at set times, like once in the morning and evening. This can help reduce mental clutter. - Name the Emotion, Tame the Emotion
Fear and confusion lose power when identified. Try writing, or say aloud what you’re feeling (e.g., “I’m scared about social unrest” or “I’m confused by conflicting news”). Labeling emotions helps process them, and reduces/tames the intensity of our feelings. - Connect with a Trusted Circle
Division can make people feel isolated. Reach out to supportive friends or family for honest conversations. Sharing fears fosters connection and perspective, countering the “us vs. them” mindset. - Focus on What You Can Control
Fear often comes from feeling powerless. How about trying a two-column list: one for things you personally can’t control (e.g., global events) and one for things they can (e.g., your daily routine, mindset, and kindness to others). Direct energy toward the second column to bring peace into your day. - Engage in Small Acts of Purpose
Confusion can paralyze decision-making. Small, meaningful actions are VIP. Volunteer locally, help a neighbor, or learn a new skill. These activities restore a sense of purpose and counteract helplessness. - Limit Doom-scrolling with a ‘Hope Anchor’
To combat the pull of negative news, create a “hope anchor” such as an image or music that makes you smile and uplifts your spirits. Keep it accessible to shift focus during anxious moments. Read quotes that conspire to inspire. - Practice Self-Compassion Breaks
Pause during overwhelming moments and silently acknowledge, “This is hard, and I’m doing my best.” I personally say, “I choose peace.” If it’s a particular challenge I say it over and over until I feel at peace. - Re-frame Division as a Call to Listen
Instead of seeing division as a threat, even if you don’t agree, approach it as an opportunity to understand others’ perspectives. Encourage asking open-ended questions in conversations (e.g., “What’s been tough for you lately?”) to build bridges and reduce fear of “the other.” - Build a Resilience Routine
Consistency fights chaos. Daily activity or practices are great as are more hope anchors. Try combining physical movement (e.g., a 10-minute walk), mental reflection (e.g., journaling one thing you’re grateful for), and rest (e.g., 5 minutes of deep breathing). Small habits create stability amid uncertainty. Find a new routine or use your tried and true method.
These tips are a few of the strategies we can use throughout life. It’s easier to keep the “rug” firmly under our feet when we learn to navigate our emotions. Stay present and take a moment at a time, making wise choices that support you and your life.
