When Will My Life Change?

When Will My Life Change?

When will my life change? These questions come up for everyone at some point, “I’m a good person, a loving parent, a loyal friend and partner. I work hard, I’m honest, so why hasn’t my life changed the way I have anticipated?” Many think of the future as the place their lives will be different. If only they had a new career, a better home or vehicle, a more loving relationship, and on it goes. I suggest NOW is where you create your future, your naturally occurring wonder, where the answers, gifts and future outcomes are crafted in each moment by you, for you.

[Tweet “This NOW moment = your Naturally Occurring Wonder! – Debra Oakland”]

If we aren’t paying attention, we miss important clues, the arrows pointing us in the right direction. When you ask people what makes them happy, it’s usually something in the outer world. Possessions are wonderful and we are welcome to all we want, including money and supply, beautiful homes and possessions, wonderful loving relationships, happiness, or anything you can add to the list. It is the attachment and the egoistic importance we place on these things that can point us in the wrong direction.

I am sure you know people who have money, living a life of luxury, but are miserable and lead very unhappy lives. On the other hand, you also know people who have it all and are happily leading productive, exciting, fulfilled lives. What’s the difference? In my mind happiness equates to living and creating from the inside out vs the outside in.

We tend to teach from our perspective as we built our beliefs, behaviors, habits and knowledge of the world around us, then pass it on to others. Throw in fear, judgment, labels, blame, criticism and confusion, along with all the love, care, protection, information, peace and happiness and there is a level of confusion that grows into a large tree of positive and negative beliefs within us. This tree has deep roots and may be difficult to pull out, making room for new seeds to be planted.

There were uncountable numbers of people in your life since you entered this playground as a baby, who molded and shaped every part of you, who influenced the person you have become. Most of these people did the best they could, teaching you what they thought was right, giving you the love and nurturing they felt you needed to assist you as you grew into adulthood. Teaching, mentoring and coaching methods to help us live our best lives are everywhere. We are exposed to religion, spirituality, politics, motivational speakers, gurus, parents, teachers, friends, lovers, etc. Who do we believe in and trust for guidance when we need it? I suggest you look inside yourself first, because anywhere else you search will give you pointers back to yourself, right where the answers have been all along. There is unlimited expression within you, waiting to be tapped into.

There is a field of certainty, and when it arrives, the environment is perfect to direct your life. A sense of knowing fills you, The Tree of Life can now grow tall within you, revealing the secrets of life and all that wishes to flow through you, out into the world. Love is the great principle of life that animates our human forms. Love beats our hearts. When you take control of your attention and intentions, love is the holy grail that provides you with all the proof you need.

Love more, control less. Controlling takes an enormous amount of energy. It sounds simple to say that love is always the answer. Yet, when we successfully open the floodgates inside ourselves, standing firmly in the present moment—where all our gifts are, where love lives—then we will see tangible evidence that we can direct our inner power without limitation.


  1. Love is who we all are exactly! Thank you for this powerful reminder!

  2. There is so much advice out there telling us how to change our lives. I often work with people who are frustrated with trying a bunch of ideas that worked for others but not for themselves. I agree, the best advice is to listen within, connect with love and find what works for you. Thanks Debra! xx

    • Debra Oakland says

      I always say, go within or go without! You get it Lisa and are a living example! xx

  3. You’re right, Debra: “We all find our answers in different places.” And the answers that resonate with most people points to the same thing: we all want love and connection AND it’s always available to us.

  4. I love this powerful article, Debra. With the recent change that has occurred in my life, the following quote is very helpful.

    “Look inside yourself first, because anywhere else you look will give you pointers back to yourself. That’s where you will discover all your answers.”

    Much love to you…

    • Debra Oakland says

      You are one courageous lady Cindy. My heart is with you and I am wrapping you in love. XOXO

  5. So beautifully written! xo

  6. Such a beautiful post!

  7. Love your NOW acronym… Naturally Occurring Wonder!!! Thank you for giving me a wonderful prompt for when I’m feeling impatient! <3