“Bye-Bye, So Long – Enjoy Your Life!”

Letting go of people who drag you down…just thinking about it feels good, doesn’t it?

Everyone needs a good ‘lifestyle well-being clutter clearing’ now and then. We learn through life experience what we want and do not want in our lives. Contrast is a powerful teacher and an important one. Without contrast, how would we learn, experience, create and expand? I’m sure you will agree it’s one of the key reasons we are on this little planet we coexist on.

If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down. Let go of people who bring you down, and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you. – Author Unknown

Actions people take that have you saying, “Bye-bye, so long – enjoy your life!”

  1. Disrespectful behind your back and to your face.
  2. Causing physical or emotional pain in your life.
  3. Non-supportive, negative and non-encouraging.
  4. Fear filled on the inside – which manifests in their outer life.
  5. Boring – no fun, whining, complaining and blaming. A life of drama.
  6. Integrity is lacking. They lie, cheat, steal, are self-centered, and always play the victim.
  7. Not extending gratitude and kindness. Ego-driven, always an agenda.

A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you’re comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart. – Author Unknown

Actions to support relationships, bringing out the BEST in you and that have you saying: “I love and appreciate our relationship.”

  1. Never apologize for having high standards.
  2. You may not be able to predict someone’s negative or angry behavior, but you can decide how long to tolerate it.
  3. Communication is key.
  4. Trust your instincts and don’t give your inner power away. If you have given it away, take it back.
  5. Evaluate your relationships. What are the expectations on both sides?
  6. Forgive the past and leave it in the past.
  7. Courageously choose relationships that are mutually supportive. Enjoy good relationships with an attitude of gratitude.

Every moment of every day you are in charge of your conscious choices and actions. If you feel the choices you have made in the past are not supporting your life, you have the power to change this. I firmly believe we are where we are at any given moment in time based on an infinite and sequential series of choices we have made in our journey.

The seemingly random events that occur are our cues to speak, to act, to react, or to respond.

Become aware of the thoughts you create and the choices they engender. Your life will change when you decide to radiate the many qualities of love out into the world. There is magnetic power in conscious choice connecting us to our heart. To radiate these qualities, you must first access them for yourself. Letting go of people who drag you down is a diligent first step to recovering your inner power.

Focus your lens on living your own life in a responsible manner, making choices that support all life. Such choices include living and loving authentically, choosing peace, cooperating with the qualities of life-expanding empowerment through the heart, and having a grateful attitude and an open mind. Every moment gives you a perfectly new opportunity to focus your efforts on living your best life and leaving the less than supportive people behind.


  1. Debra,
    This is such a powerful article and I wanted to let you know that it has inspired me to take actions that for whatever reason haven’t been done because of fear. Now I feel there is no more guilty feelings . This is a breakthrough.
    I’ll be grateful for reading it and put into practice. Blessed for been your subscriber for so long and today was a moment of truth.

    Many Blessings,
    Maria A. Slaughter

    • Debra Oakland says

      Maria, thank you for your message. I am so proud of you and happy for your breakthrough. It is I who am happy to have you as a subscriber! Blissed Blessings to you. 🙂

  2. Great message Debra! I love when you talk of contrast because it is a powerful tool and such a simple thing lense to look through. Thank you for sharing!

    • Debra Oakland says

      The lens of contrast teaches us everything – thanks for your message Tarah!

  3. Oh, Debra… You have no idea how timely this post is for me. I’m not a fan of airing “dirty laundry” online, so I will just say that my husband and I have been involved in a “no good deed goes unpunished” situation. Ending it was not easy but life feels so much more normal (read “joyful”) with only the permanent residents in the house! Thanks so much for this post.

    • Debra Oakland says

      Happy to be of service Andrea and I am happy your issue is resolved. Not easy but necessary for a ‘joy-full’ life!

  4. Thanks Debra! This year, I am have been letting go of people who are giving off a different vibe than I resonate with. Change can be difficult. It is our mental health that is at stake. When a friendship connection does not feel good anymore, it is best to move on. The gift is there are lots of people who do resonate with you!

    • Debra Oakland says

      When someone’s part in the movie of our life ends, we need to let them go. There will be new people to show up to audition for new parts that need to be filled in our life movie. Change is good and creates growth. Happy to hear you are taking care of ‘you’ Lisa!

  5. I would add to that list people who always want you to save them when they are perfecting capable of saving themselves.

  6. Hi Debra,
    Thanks for writing this. Tis the season for letting go of what doesn’t serve, spring cleaning, so to speak! I love Barb’s addition to the list. And I love how boldly you put forward this topic! Best, Krystal

  7. Thanks for a great article, Debra! I agree that the people in our lives are as important to our wellbeing as nutrition, sleep, and our environment. Spring is a great time to clear our the clutter, but it is really important at any time. We need to remind ourselves that if we feel the relationship is no longer positive, it is ok to let it go. I love the quote about the bra, so fitting! 😉

    • Debra Oakland says

      Who doesn’t love a bra quote! Thanks for your awesome comment Kris. 🙂

  8. A power-punch blog post! I don’t know where to start, Debra, at sharing what I like most.
    I’m appreciating the list of “Actions to support relationships, bringing out the BEST in you and that have you saying: “I love and appreciate our relationship.”
    xox Lore