Is Your Story Set in Stone?

“Don’t spend your life believing a story about yourself that you didn’t write that’s been fed to you – that simply you’ve accepted, embedded and added to. Let the story go and there beneath is the real you…and your unique gifts, heart and path that await you.” – Rasheed Ogunlaru

I cannot lie to myself, or to you. We have been spoon fed a story, a script written by others. Since birth we have been programmed: What to be, how to be, what/how to think and act, and to accept the story. We have traveled a narrow path. Over time and though experience, we gain perspective and develop many cognitive tools needed to create a coherent life story that makes sense. There is a bigger picture and we are it.

Hang in there with me and consider this: The age old story is to control the masses, which supports the few, not humanity’s larger collective. As your life story unfolds and enters its last chapters, do you want it to be set in stone? Are you in charge of your story, or just living it out to the final scene? In regard to change, character development is crucial and courageous. You are the author of your life, so ask yourself, “Who are the characters my movie – are they strong supporting characters, or bit players dragging me down?” Re-emerging/repetitive patterns will provide you with answers.

My view of the ‘bigger picture’ clearly shows we are a society designed to be kept preoccupied with distractions. We are fed media that comes in many mind-numbing forms. We have television (Tell-A-Vision) and social networks people willingly and many times unknowingly give their personal information to. The media and commercials glorify medical drugs ‘programming’ people for sickness and letting us know, “Hey, we’re here for you when you get this horrific dis-ease.” There are worldwide ads, magazines and press on people we are encouraged to admire and aspire to imitate. Dis-ease and depression are on the rise at an exponential rate. As the world seems to spin out of control, we feel a need to gain greater control over our lives.

Here’s a few tips: Investigate with all your might. Find out what is real for you, what makes sense and resonates with your heart. Consciously choose to be a Change Agent. Together we can change the plot by re-writing our script, making intelligent/informed edits and directing our life production to make a difference in a world needing more light. When someone asks, “What’s your story?” how will you respond? Your answer could create pause for thought, as the standard narrative stymies anyone who doesn’t follow the ‘rules’, and provides unrealistic expectations of happiness for those who do.

As in any good movie, the path to living from the outside in to living from the inside out is dark, light, and full of switchbacks. We see life from our own unique perspective, yet I believe a life theme of greater well-being and happiness is an attainable goal. The ending is up to us individually and collectively. Will the challenges of life on this planet remain unresolved, or shift? The age old question, once again. Will we follow a road full of wrong turns that lead to a dead end, or will the open expansive road we choose to travel together in love and peace lead to a happy ending of oneness, unity and joy?

I begin and end with quotes from Rasheed Ogunlaru…

“You are not who you think you are. You are not who they want you to be. You are not merely your colour, class, gender – and so on – these are quite narrow things. You are not the ideas you are given and gather. You are not what you own or lay claim to. You are not even your life story – for that changes through time, perspective, emphasis and many things. You are what resides before, between and beyond all these things.” – R. Ogunlaru”


  1. I, too, have been railing against distraction. Distraction numbs us to our possibilities and to how we are not living our own lives. It keeps us glued to the picture in front of us instead of diving deep inside to where our own truth resides. This is a brilliant article, Debra. Thank you!

    • Debra Oakland says

      With the advent of computers and social media, we are gaining new perspective on the distractions surrounding us daily. Thank you for your thoughtful comment Laurie!

  2. I started to rebel against the story I was fed when I was a teenager – yep, I’m a product of the turbulent 60’s! Then I got sidetracked for a while with kids and family issues. When the last bird left the nest, I picked up where I left off. As a writer, the greatest story I will ever write is my own!

  3. So true! It takes inner strength and courage to go against the masses, but that’s exactly why we are here, to create our own life, to live our dream, to fulfill our souls purpose…Not anyone else’s. Beautiful! Thanks for sharing! ?