15 Ways To Stop Arguing For Your Limitations

When we stop arguing for our limitations by re-framing our view, clarity prevails. How about living a better life, beautifully self-imposed? By affirming limitation, we add fuel to the fire. We are not here to follow one narrow path, or to live a life of overwhelm, frustration and defeat. If someone tells us we aren’t good enough, it’s time to step back and allow this to sink in – the person in question is usually talking about an aspect of themselves. When we walk away from old baggage and embrace the future, harmony is king.

1. Our fears own us when not faced, creating more limiting beliefs and actions. Everyone has challenges, it is inescapable if you are alive and breathing. Anxiety takes a lot of energy. The more often you face something, the less anxious you feel when facing it again. “Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear.” – William Congreve

2. You have artistic freedom over your life – use it to enhance your life. What amount of freedom will you embrace? Struggle, pain, or harmonious improvement is a choice.

3. Searching for answers, but never listening when given sage advice is a common practice. A habitually “poor me” attitude does not influence people, or win friends. Keep your conversations positive. This not only inspires others, it keeps your energy high.

4. Fear of making mistakes prevents attempts at success. If you fall or fail, get back up, and try again. Think about this: What if you succeed beyond your wildest dreams?

5. Make two lists. First – List your perceived limitations. Second – List your ideal outcome to each item on the first list. Compare lists and note how each one makes you feel.

6. It’s important to set boundaries. Practice using your voice to develop your personal rhythmic inner power. Become crystal clear with your intentions.

7. Other people’s ‘opinions’ of you are none of their business. Your opinion of you IS your business.

8. Embrace your destiny, not your limitations. When you inspire yourself, you inspire others.

9. Make note of quicksand habits that create an endless downward pull. Practice taking steps that lift you up instead of engaging old habits that no longer serve you.

10. Give guilt a swift kick in the ass, there’s a good chance it needs one. Stay away from people who are passive aggressive and addicted to doling out guilt.

11. Being your own cheerleader can seem like a daunting task – tough love required. Trust your courageous inner voice. You can do this.

12. Check your mind/body/spirit relationships – are they for your highest and greatest good? If not, make the required changes.

13. Make an effort to assist others achieve their goals. It’s a win win for all.

14. Be patient with yourself, enjoy small to large improvements.

15. Reward yourself for a job well done.


  1. LOVE THIS!!! I have embraced many of these steps and need to embrace some more. I especially love kissing guilt goodbye, so liberating! Guilt is no longer a motivator and other people’s guilt trips no longer work on me, I am free!

    • Debra Oakland says

      Guilt is a ‘biggie’ for us humans. Glad to hear it no longer trips you up Rachel – freedom indeed!

  2. It is interesting how much the ego defends limiting thoughts and actions in order to keep us small. Anxiety fuels those faulty thoughts and does take a lot of energy. We all face anxiety and it is not an easy life at times. It is in our power to decide how long we will focus on anxiety and how much attention it gets. A great list Debra!

    • Debra Oakland says

      The ego…ahhh, it loves to keep us small! Inner power is our outer power…love your perspective Lisa!

  3. I love your list Debra. I haven’t tried #5. I should give that one a go! -especially with technology! I have been trying to make it my friend but we don’t seem to speak a harmonious language yet…

    • Debra Oakland says

      The lists help clarify things and gives us a broader perspective…it’s a journey!

  4. What an awesome list! Thanks so much for sharing it!

  5. These are fabulous strategies for not buying into our limitations Debra. I especially like writing out the two lists – one of perceived limitations and one list of ideal outcomes. Brilliant! I am going to create those list regarding a transition I am in and transform my doubt into my commitment to my value and worth. I really appreciate your wisdom!

    • Debra Oakland says

      Excellent to hear Kelley. Let me know how it works out for you, and trust me you are worthy, and add great value to the world! xo