Validation – Internal or External?

High five gesture of father and child

Article by Debra Oakland

Validation – internal or external? Do you need to feel validated and if so, how and why? I like to think of internal as living from the inside out, external – living from the outside in. Many people look to others for a sense of self-worth. It starts in childhood and works its way up to wherever you are now. Judging yourself harshly while looking for external approval does not serve you, or anyone else. You may get people to give you a stamp of validation, but if you do not appreciate yourself and continue to judge YOU, there will be no happy ending.  At the end of this article I have included one of my favorite short Independent films, “Validation” which demonstrates the power of ‘inner’ validation.

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Loss of the sense of self-worth causes depression, illness, anxiety, anger and a host of negative emotions. Building self-worth takes time, it’s more work for some than others, but a most worthy endeavor. It’s called taking responsibility for your life.

There is no better way to validate yourself than connecting to and trusting your inner knowing, aka – higher source of love, wisdom and power. Your soul knows how to support you in the most wondrous ways. There are clues everywhere, if you are paying attention. You have a powerful force of love inside of you that wants to radiate in, through and out from you. It’s much easier to be kind and loving to others when you love and approve of yourself. If you were not validated as a child, forgive and move on.  Surround yourself with loving supportive people who appreciate you and the gifts you are here to share.

You are unique, you don’t need to fit into anyone’s mold of who they think you should be, what you should think, say or do. It hurts to be treated poorly – always a reminder about how to treat others. You don’t need anyone to make you feel worthy or complete. You already are. We carry around these ‘perceived’ rejections and projections about family, friends, the education system, co-workers and society – thoughts and feelings that live on in our mind, unless we release them. Momentum builds for positive or negative. Validation can be driven by the mental manusia that we allow ourselves to engage in. People who judge others harshly are only attempting to validate themselves.

You get to decide how long you are going to let the outer world dictate how you feel about yourself. Personal happiness starts and ends with you. If you feel you had a bum steer early on in life, you NOW have the opportunity to re-direct the outcome. Your well-being is important because you are energy. Our combined energy affects all life on this planet. Everyone has felt insecure and looked for external validation at some point in their life, it’s how we learn, expand and share our stories. Life is a process of on going self-validation, so go easy on yourself. Ahhhhh, the human journey!

Debra Oakland

Enjoy this little film. It’s a gem that will have you smiling from ear to ear!