7 Ways To Connect To Your Inner Strength & Resilience

“At some point we become wise enough to see the limiting walls we have built around ourselves. Taking action to release all that does not serve our life takes courage and inner strength. These walls of resistance are sometimes invisible, even to our own eyes. It’s easy to look at another persons life and see why things are not working out for them; yet, when we look at ourselves, we often miss what limits us.”

– Debra Oakland

What is the Number One Thing You Struggle With When Connecting to Your Inner Strength & Resilience?

The two qualities of inner strength and resilience are important for more reasons than I can list. Crisis, disease and trauma can tear us apart, or give us strength we didn’t know we were capable of. Adaptability, resiliency and flexibility make us stronger. Each time we struggle through a rough patch, we can consciously choose our inner wisdom to learn the lesson there for us. I have learned that challenging life experiences can provides us with indispensable tools to assist us in living our lives more courageously. Our personalities and life experiences contribute to outcomes, as well as our tenacity for overcoming odds.

Deferring to the Authority or Opinion of Others

Deferring to the opinions and authority of others works if those influences have your highest good in mind. Also, do they have the required knowledge and wisdom to make their counsel worth the value placed upon it. Trust is fundamental to life and hard to restore once it’s been broken. There is great value to be found in trust, a quality many find in short supply these days.

Insecurity – Self Sabotage – Not Deserving

Not feeling in control of your life? Much of this comes from childhood. Hurtful words coming from those meant to build you up – parents, clergy, coaches, teachers, etc. If the positive support is not there early on, there is often times a void that can only be filled by recognizing the habits and patterns formed and making the required changes. There are excellent therapists available for those in need.

Stubbornness – High Defenses

As we are well aware, these two aspects can be crippling for self evolution and expression. You have high defenses because of being hurt in love, finances, you name it. When an opportunity arises that fits into those situations, the alarms go off and our old friend stubborn shows up. We are not going to get hurt again so we dig in our heals, shut down and protect ourselves. Now, if we took the time to heal those nasty old boo boos and traumas, we could open to similar experiences with a new perspective and have a totally different outcome. Life is tricky, paved with some rough patches, but learning to govern ourselves makes for a smoother path ahead.

Lack of Information

Making pivotal life decisions when you don’t have all the facts can be a risky bet. Too often we go into major life decisions half cocked and suffer the consequences. Before going into any major decision, take the time to view the facts from multiple perspectives.

Facing an Unexpected Obstacle

This skill in these times is a high priority. We must be nimble and able to change coarse based on a changing environment. If we remain on a fixed trajectory, think Titanic, we could well crash when it could have been easily avoided with a slight correction. Be the jet ski – not the air craft carrier.

Anger as a Defense Mechanism

It is said that all human emotions come from one of two places, love and fear. Anger lives in the house of fear, and it’s family make for lousy roommates. Find coping/healing practices that bring you to a more self forgiving, loving, and healing posture. This will shift how you navigate challenges and hurdles in yourself as well as in the world around you. Look for channels and outlets that can provide the support needed to move through self imposed barriers. Ask for help – we all need it from time to time.

Not Ready to Take Responsibility

This one can be based simply in fear, past experience or no experience at all. Fear – be honest enough to identify the reasons and make the appropriate changes. Past Experience – you can probably add a nice helping of apprehension to go with it. Lack of Experience – find a trusted source to learn the required information to take on some/more responsibility. Taking on new challenges is always a little scary, I don’t care who you are, but with the right information and identifying what makes you afraid, you can turn that looming monster in the shadows into a manageable gremlin.

Think of These 7 Sections as a”Mix and Match” of What You Are Struggling With

What steps can be taken to get you to your best destination? We all struggle with some of these. Some more than others. If we pay attention and face them straight on, you place yourself in a position of authority over conditions that you may have thought were beyond your control. In this moment you may not perceive yourself to be a bad ass warrior navigating life on your terms, but the opportunity is yours for the taking.


  1. Sally Coles says

    Love this article! All good advice.
    Often we forget we either have the tools or know what we need to do to create the tools. Fear to move forward can be our worst enemy, when really the act of trying and looking at what the potential next steps are, can diminish or even take away those fears completely. One step forward at a time, is all we can do even if we think we know where we are going.
    Thank you!