Resiliency Can Be A Superpower

In times of change and distress, it’s necessary to adapt if you wish to be resilient – a tried and true superpower. As a collective, we are going through monumental change in the world. Everyone has been affected. I first learned about true resiliency when I lost 5 family members in a few short years. Both of my children, both brothers, and then my father. There was no break to regain my footing for what seemed like a very long time. Resiliency was my saving grace, as was living in courage. I had to adapt or allow my life to shatter into pieces.

A year ago on June 19th, 2019 my mother in law Ramona had a stroke. One of the most vibrant, interesting, and beautiful women I have ever known lost her ability to speak, eat or swallow. She laid at a care facility until March 15, 2020. Bill (Willy to us) at 88 years of age goes to dialysis 3 days a week. He still managed to visited the care facility almost every day, even though it was a 40 minutes drive from their home. At 86 years of age, Ramona took her last breath. Beyond sad, but a blessing. It was a day after the pandemic shut-down of all non-essential businesses. I have a feeling she chose this time to pass on. Her husband Bill would not have been able to visit any longer because of the Covid19 virus. Since Ramona was unable to speak, they would have no way to communicate. The time Ramona was in the facility was devastating to Bill, as he hoped for signs of improvement. These two were married 65 years – always together enjoying life. We were not sure Willy would be as resilient as he has been. Yes he gets sad or has a bad day, but it’s wonderful to see him looking forward to doing things on his own now. I know his dog Benny has been a wonderful companion, along with family and friends checking in on him daily. My husband Cody has been beyond amazing with his Dad and they are having a ton of fun together. It warms my heart more than I can say.

This makes me think about the resiliency and adaptability of people, particularly now. There will always be things out of your control. How you handle life is up to you. Yes, we are left with more questions than answers at this time, so what do we do? We can make conscious choices that support our life. Fear is not our friend, it steals our freedom, is put in front of us to bully us, and is also an indicator to alert us. It boxes us into what feels “safe”, so we don’t venture out to find what’s true. Fear makes us hide from strangers and people different from us so we can’t find out how deep and wide love can reach. The best part of you can whither away in the face of fear. I beg you not to let that happen. It’s important to remember these three things: we get to choose how we feel, how we are affected, what we choose to do moving forward as a resilient and adaptable soul.

Resilience is knowing that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up. – Mary Holloway

We are in unprecedented times in our lives. Trust in your inner voice. As Yoda says, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Live life on your own terms. Walk tall and enjoy as much of life as possible. Things will shift, as they always do. Resilience and adaptability will see you through as a perfect superpower.


  1. Beautiful article Deb. You captured the essence of of the journey. I love you.

  2. What a great article, especially for these uncertain times. Walking tall and enjoying life, perfect. We all need to adapt and be flexible, just like trees in a storm.

    • Debra Oakland says

      Thank you Sally for your beautiful words. You indeed are living in courage.

  3. Mykey Morin says

    God wakes us up each morning and allows us to Breathe. We need to be thankful for so many things. So I am praying we all learn from this Virus,George Floyd,etc.and things will turn out for the better..there’s always Hope

    • Debra Oakland says

      I love this first sentence Mykey! Gratitude is necessary to live a well-rounded life. Hope & Love will carry us forward…thank you for your comment.

      • Mykey Morin says

        Thank you Debra. I look up and say THANK YOU Whenever i see a flower bloom Or I wake up to discover a new project Or when i decorate my house I ALWAYS look up and say THANK YOU Lord. Afterall it is God who puts these ideas in my head and made all these beautiful flowers we all enjoy..

        • Debra Oakland says

          Gratitude is the best attitude and most important, loving respect is sent to the creator – for gifting us with all we choose to create…

  4. Mykey Morin says

    I am truly starting to believe that God is doing this until we all realize this world needs to change..
    WE need to change,
    And appreciate what we have.
    We tend to take advantage of so much as in Family, Friendships,Health,and so much more..
    Like every time a flower blooms / beautiful sunsets or because God wakes you up every morning / lets you breathe
    When was the last time you looked up and sent HIM a mere THANK YOU..

    • Debra Oakland says

      Gratitude fills my heart and soul daily…and I know it does with you as well.